The Qualities of Being a Good…Godly Father

Lesson Audio: The Qualities of Being a Good…Godly Father

Definition of Terms

FATHER: Hebrew ’abh abba; Greek & Latin: pater; Old English: fader; Anglo Saxon: fæder; Chinese: Ba (Baa) Croatian: Otac; Dutch: Vader, Papa or Pappie; German: vater; Hungarian: Apa, Apu, Papa or Edesapa; Icelandic: Faðir; Irish: Athair or Daidí; Italian: Babbo; Japanese: Otosan; Persian/Farsi: Pedar, Pitar or Baabaa; Romanian: Tata, Parinte or Taica; Sanskrit: Tàtah or Janak; Spanish: Papá, Viejo or Tata; Venetian: Pare, Popà, 'Opà, Pupà or Papà

v  Greek ‘pater’, from a root ‘pa’ signifying "a nourisher, protector, upholder" (from Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words)

·         One who has begotten a child, whether son or daughter; a generator; a male parent. (from Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language)

·         The father in the Hebrew family, as in the Roman, had supreme rights over his children, could dispose of his daughter in marriage (Genesis 29), arrange his son's marriage (Genesis 24), sell his children (Exodus 21:7), but not his daughter to a stranger (Nehemiah 5:5), had power of life and death, as in the case of Isaac (Genesis 22), Jephthah's daughter (Judges 11:34 ff), the sacrificing of his children to Molech (Leviticus 18:21; 20:3-5), etc. (from International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia)

·         Respect, reverence and affection for fathers (and equally for mothers) is most tenderly, explicitly and sternly prescribed from the earliest times (Exodus 20:12; Leviticus 19:3; Deuteronomy 5:16; Micah 7:6; Ezekiel 22:7, etc.). (from International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia)

A beautiful picture of the duties and character of the ideal human father may be built up from the Old Testament and the New Testament:

1.    A Godly Father Provides for His Family - 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Matthew 7:9-11 – “Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? 10 "Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? 11 "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” NASU

2.    A Godly Father Treats His Children Fairly, Without Prejudice - Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” NASU

·         Provoke: NT Greek ‘parorgizoo’ -  “to rouse to wrath, to provoke, exasperate, anger” (Thayer's Greek Lexicon)

·         Exasperate: NT Greek ‘erethizo’ – (from a presumed prolonged form of ‘eris’: contention, debate, strife, variance) to stimulate - especially to anger. (Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance)

·         This includes not playing favorites, unlike Jacob: Genesis 37:4 “His brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers; and so they hated him and could not speak to him on friendly terms.” NASU

3.    A Godly Father Instructs/Commands - Proverbs 1:8 “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, And do not forsake your mother’s teaching” NASU

·         Instruction should begin early when they are ‘tender’ - Proverbs 4:1-4 “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, And give attention that you may gain understanding, 2 For I give you sound teaching; Do not abandon my instruction. 3 When I was a son to my father, Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, 4 Then he taught me and said to me, "Let your heart hold fast my words; Keep my commandments and live” NASU

·   Do not wait until they think they’re grown to begin trying to establish good principles!

·   (By 6^th grade I was already an adult, no joke! I knew more than all my folks! I was the most mature person I knew. Oh how naïve I was back when I knew it all…)

·         Children are to be “reared and brought up” (Isaiah 1:2)

·   Child ‘rearing’ isn’t something we say much today, but the word in Hebrew comes from the Aramaic which means to “twist a cord, make firm, strong, become strong” (from Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon)

·   A father’s duty includes encouraging his children to grow well, become strong, to take on the world, and do so knowing their place before God.

·         A father “guides” (Jeremiah 3:4 NKJV).

·   Being that ‘friend’ (as translated in NASB) includes guidance in the right paths.

·         A father should be “exhorting and encouraging and imploring” his children to “walk in a manner worthy” of God (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12)

·   Not engaging in the same sinful behavior and aiding their debauchery! (illicit sex/drugs/alcohol abuse, pornography, immoral music etc).

·   Your children and grandchildren are watching and taking mental notes, be careful!

·         A Godly father trains by teaching and “Taking them by their arms” (Hosea 11:3) This means interaction!

4.    A Godly Father Keeps His Eyes on His Children:

·         Tenderly Familiar – Comfortable with his children, "with me in bed" (Luke 11:7) NKJV

·         Delights in his son - Proverbs 3:12 “For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”NASU

·         Delights In his son's wisdom – Proverbs 10:1 “A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.” 23:15-16 “My son, if your heart is wise, My own heart also will be glad; 16 And my inmost being will rejoice When your lips speak what is right.” 23:24-25 “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who sires a wise son will be glad in him. 25 Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her rejoice who gave birth to you.” NASU

·         Is deeply pained by his folly – Proverbs 17:21,25 “21 He who sires a fool does so to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy.”,“25 A foolish son is a grief to his father And bitterness to her who bore him.” 19:13 “A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping.” NASU

5.    A Godly Father Disciplines When it is Necessary:

·         Reproves/Corrects - *Proverbs 3:12 “For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.” Proverbs 29:15,17 “15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”, “17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.” NASU

·         Disciplines - Deuteronomy 8:5 “Thus you are to know in your heart that the Lord your God was disciplining you just as a man disciplines his son.” NASU

·         Restrains/Rebukes: Eli, by contrast - 1 Samuel 3:12-13 “In that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. 13 "For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.” NASU

·   Even King David in his dotage failed his son Adonijah. 1 Kings 1:6 indicates he never “crossed him at any time by asking, "Why have you done so?" NASU

o   Are we guilty of overlooking bad behavior until the last moment?

o   Or simply make excuses for their behavior…

·         Having in view the highest ends - *Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” NASU

·   A Godly father has developed that heavenly perspective which sees success of a child not as something gained through worldly achievements but which long after death produces treasures (Matthew 6:19-21) beyond comprehension: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9) NKJV

·         Yet Coupled with Discipline comes Mercy & Compassion - Psalm 103:13 “Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.” Jeremiah 31:20 “Is Ephraim My dear son? Is he a delightful child? Indeed, as often as I have spoken against him, I certainly still remember him; Therefore My heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him," declares the Lord.” NASU

6.    A Godly Father’s Attitudes & Treatment of His Children Are The Direct Result of His Fervent Love:

·         Hebrews 12:5-11 “MY SON, DO NOT REGARD LIGHTLY THE DISCIPLINE OF THE LORD, NOR FAINT WHEN YOU ARE REPROVED BY HIM; 6 FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES, AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES." 7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children (bastards KJV) and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. 11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” NASU

·   Administering proper discipline is showing your love for your children.

·   Failing to discipline leaves your children in no better shape than children without a father. The writer says they might as well be bastards!

·   It is a false and selfish love that will not correct a child, but wishes only to cater to their whims - *Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.” NASU

Conclusion:

·         Blessed are the homes in which fathers fulfill their duties as Christian men.

·         Let us give our children the guidance that they may succeed where we have failed.

o   We must stop the perpetual cycle of sin in its tracks!

·         Be the father you should be, and if you are not yet a father, cultivate Godly attitudes now, be prepared!

(Originally prepared and presented 06/16/2013 by Kristofer Gardana)